Chapter 31: Discount

Chapter 31: On Sale

The temperature had dropped;

it was neither late autumn nor early winter, but winter had truly arrived.

In this freezing weather, as long as the wind outside wasn't too fierce, basking in the sun in the yard was actually much more comfortable than staying inside the cold, gloomy house.

Paul and Ron were currently sitting in the courtyard, each on a small stool; last month had been so busy that there were times they wished they could just squeeze onto a gurney with a "guest" to catch a quick nap;

only over these past few days had things finally quieted down again.

Of course, as experienced funeral home employees, they also knew this was the last little stretch of leisure for the year, because many elderly folks simply could not survive the hurdle between deep winter and early spring.

Perhaps when autumn began, they had made their preparations, and when early winter arrived, they had strengthened their resolve; but when the true cold wave hit, and they had to drag their old arms and legs to battle the weather, many of the elderly had no choice but to resign themselves to fate, allowing the changing of the seasons to sweep over them like a broom, brushing them toward the final destination of life.

Ron had a cigarette dangling from his lips while he fiddled with a deck of playing cards in his hands, muttering every now and then about what a pity it was that last night's excellent hand hadn't yielded any real profit.

Paul, meanwhile, was reading a book on electrical engineering, occasionally making notes with a pencil.

Karen walked into the yard carrying a pig's head.

"Oh, Master, what kind of delicious food are you preparing today?"

Ron stood up immediately and huddled closer.

Ever since the young master's injuries had healed enough for him to get out of bed, the daily staff meals could be described as exceptionally rich and exquisite; all sorts of dishes that Ron had never even heard of, let alone tasted, were served at the table every noon, and the flavor was truly pure bliss.

Paul closed his book as well and looked over.

"Ron, bring me a basin and fill it with some water."

"Right away, Master."

Most people in this world didn't actually mind helping out a chef.

Very quickly, Ron returned with an aluminum basin filled with water.

"Ah~"

Aunt Mary yawned as she walked out of the living room, handing Karen a gas blowtorch at the same time.

Taking the blowtorch, Karen smiled and said:

"I didn't expect we'd actually have one of these at home."

As he spoke, Karen lit the flame and began using the blowtorch's fire to burn off the hair on the pig's head.

Aunt Mary remarked, "Some of the guests have quite a lot of body hair, so we need to use this to get rid of it."

Karen asked curiously, "Isn't it supposed to be the more body hair the better? Makes them look more manly."

Aunt Mary shrugged: "Not all body hair grows on the chest."

Following that, drawing from her vast experience of having "viewed" countless guests, Aunt Mary sighed with emotion:

"Some people have body hair growing in other places, it's absolutely disgusting."

"Haha."

Karen kept smiling as he continued to meticulously roast the pig's head.

Aunt Mary watched this scene with curiosity, continuing the previous topic: "And there are some people who, while alive, think having lush body hair is a very manly thing, even viewing it as a kind of extremely narcissistic charm, yet they can't smell that odor on themselves; even when they're dead, you can still catch a whiff of the lingering scent, while their wives have already been disgusted and repulsed by it for goodness knows how many years.

There's nothing to be done about it when a person is alive, so once they're dead, their wives often strongly demand that the husband's body hair be removed during the cosmetic preparation."

"For the sake of appearance?"

"No, I think it's purely to vent their anger."

"Such love is truly enviable."

"Who told husbands to generally pass away before their wives?" Aunt Mary tidied her hair, "And besides, some men just love to find wives who are much younger than themselves; those who can't keep their body hair after death are considered fortunate, as hatred and resentment at least mean they still cared; we've seen plenty of cases where the husband dies and the wife brings her secret lover along to attend the funeral service."

If things weren't busy and the relatives all lived in the city, the time from a person's death to holding the funeral and burial was actually just three days.

"That's why I don't believe in love anymore," Ron said.

"What about your little nurse from the sanatorium?" Karen asked.

"Oh heavens, don't mention her, my heart has long been shattered into pieces because of her."

"You didn't manage to ask her out? I remember you wanted to invite her to a movie."

"I did ask her out, we watched six movies together."

"Did you eat popcorn?" Karen asked.

"We licked each other's ten fingers completely clean, and every time after the movie, because the sanatorium was already closed, in order to take care of her, I had to accompany her to a small motel to get a room and rest."

"Isn't that great?" Karen set the blowtorch down and began using a knife to scrape the pig's head, "The movies were watched, the deeds were done, didn't you plan to propose to her?"

"I promised her that I wouldn't drink anymore, nor would I play cards anymore, that I would work hard and hand over all my income for her to manage, and she was very touched."

"And then?"

"And then, the day before I was preparing to propose to her, an old retired gentleman living in the sanatorium who was about to be discharged confessed his love to her, and she agreed."

"Oh, that really is a sad story."

"Tell me about it, I was heartbroken over it for a long time, I actually lost the competition to an old man."

"No, Ron, the one who beat you in the competition was a retired gentleman with independent means."

"Hmm, true, but my fiancée just left me like that."

"Look at it from another perspective, someone else's fiancée watched movies with you so many times before getting married."

Hearing this, Ron gave it some serious thought,

and then a smile spread across his face,

as he said:

"Master, hearing you put it that way, I suddenly feel like I've made a profit."

"Exactly."

At this moment, Paul suddenly spoke up and asked: "Master, Madam, there's a question I'd like to ask you both."

"Speak."

Karen continued to scrape the pig's head intently; he had been craving this bite of pig's head meat for a long time. In his previous life, his hometown county had very few dishes that could be called local specialties, but this pig's head meat was actually the most formidable one, rich but not greasy.

Because he had begun to take charge of the kitchen, the kitchen at home was now slowly undergoing a "peaceful evolution."

Although the family members didn't find Chinese cuisine to be "mind-blowingly heavenly," it was enough to make them realize just how simple and monotonous their previous diet had been.

Paul asked his question: "If one wants to take a relationship with a lady a step further, how should one say it?"

"Watch a movie!" Ron shouted immediately, "A late-night show!"

Paul ignored Ron's advice.

Aunt Mary smiled and said: "Is it with the young lady from the Kutch family?"

Paul nodded somewhat shyly: "Yes, Madam, thank you, Madam."

This match for Paul had actually been initiated with Aunt Mary's help; Miss Kutch's father was a master carpenter at a coffin factory, and though their family background was very ordinary, the whole family was very simple, honest, and kind.

Such a girl was not someone Aunt Mary would ever introduce to Ron, but for Paul, whose diligence and steadiness were plain for all to see, Aunt Mary had happily played the matchmaker.

“Have you visited her parents yet?” Aunt Mary asked.

“I have. Her father is a wonderful man, and her mother is very kind. My own mother is also quite fond of her. We’ve set the wedding for the spring.”

Karen understood now.

Paul had completed every step of courtship and marriage planning, only to find himself completely stuck at the prospect of the wedding night.

It was by no means laughable; though many in this world pursued romance solely for the bedroom, there remained responsible souls who wished to see every legal formality and courtesy properly observed, yet grew so terribly honest—or perhaps skipped a beat—that when they tried to recapture the rhythm, they found themselves utterly lost.

Karen lifted the pig’s head, examining it closely, and spoke directly to it as if it were Paul:

“Paul, you could always ask her if she would like to watch the moon from the window in your room.”

Aunt Mary stared at Karen as though she had seen a ghost, then struck the pig’s head in his hands with a sharp rap:

“Did your uncle teach you that?”

Karen looked puzzled. “No, he didn’t.”

“Truly?”

“Truly.”

Aunt Mary let out a cold snort. “As I thought, you Inmeles men are all cut from the same cloth. That is exactly how your uncle invited me back then, claiming his room sat on a high floor, perfectly suited for moon gazing.

And from that moon gazing came Mina, and then came Lunt.”

“Heh…”

Karen could not help but let out a soft laugh.

Aunt Mary turned her gaze back to Paul and said, “In truth, it is quite simple. If she truly loves you, she would ‘believe’ you even if you claimed to keep an elephant in your room, and she would gladly come in to have a look.”

Paul rubbed his head, a little faint-hearted. “Is it truly that simple?”

Aunt Mary sneered. “She is your fiancée. Do you honestly fear she will call the constables afterward to have you dragged away? What would she even say to them? ‘Officer, my wretched fiancé forced me to lie upon the bed!’

If even that were against the law, then those scoundrels over at the Berry Sect would have all been rounded up and lined up before a firing squad long ago.”

Karen felt a strong urge to remind his aunt that even within a marriage, coercion was both immoral and unlawful;

but upon second thought, the laws of the current era had not yet evolved to such a civilized state.

Just then, a crowd of banner-waving students marched down the road toward the house, their faces youthful, mostly of middle and high school age.

The student in the lead shouted:

“We demand environmental protection!”

The surrounding students chimed in together: “We demand environmental protection!”

“We want fresh air!”

“Fresh air!”

“We want clear rivers!”